A Potion's Master's Realizations
by Quanta
Summary: In a potion mishap, Severus has turned himself twenty years old and he realizes how close in age he is to the sixth year: Hermione. Also, the Dark Lord continues to run amock and Remus Lupin has returned as the DADA teacher and he looks to Severus as a fr


Slowly Snape began to lift the ingredients into the cauldron, one at a time. "Greasy slime ball," he muttered, "I'll greasy slime ball them." He slowly turned the brew, twenty times clockwise. Just then the large, wooden door opened.  
"Severus?" It was Lupin, looking for a friendly ear no doubt. He had acquired this nasty habit ever since Sirius died. Much to Snape's dismay, he was the friendly ear.  
"Yes Remus?" Snape looked up irritably, holding a ginger root. Then it fell with a sickening splash into the potion. "Bloody he." Snape trailed off as a horrid smoke filled the room. He then heard the door shut as Lupin ran to safety outside.  
Ten minutes later, the foul smoke had cleared and Snape vanished the potion. Lupin walked in, apologizing for the ginger root.  
"Just shut up Remus," Snape snapped, "It was just a potion, I forgive you." Lupin stood looking oddly at Snape, his eyebrows raised.  
"Do you feel okay?"  
"Erm." Snape's thoughts jumped around. What horrible effect had this spell had on him now? "I feel great."  
Wait, great? Since when had Snape felt great? He ran to a mirror and saw a twenty-year-old Snape staring back at him.  
"Goodness, that was an odd potion." Lupin looked over at Snape, with a strange half smile. "You look quite a bit younger."  
"I'm fourteen years younger?" He asked, still in shock.  
"Appears so."  
Snape shuddered at the thought. Then he looked at the time, the students were due to arrive soon. "I need to shower and get ready," he paused, "and I recommend the same for you Remus."  
Before Remus disappeared, Snape was sure to toss him a new set of robes he'd bought. Remus' were in absolutely terrible condition. Then he looked at the cauldron that was supposed to be holding a deep cleansing hair shampoo and instead had made him lose fourteen years of his rather pathetic existence.  
He stepped into the warm shower and thought. "I wonder what the students will be like next year. I can at least look forward to the fact that I no longer have to teach that terrible Potter, unless he actually chooses to take my N.E.W.T Potions class." He paused as he tried to get a firm grip on the soap. "And then there will be Hermione." He trailed off, falling into a blush.  
He had admired Hermione's courage and clever attitude since she arrived. It wasn't until last year though, that he made the terrible realization he had real feelings for her. Of course, he was eighteen years older than her, and he knew his thoughts were wrong. But they wouldn't stop, a feeling he had only had once before, with Lilly Evans.  
"But now you're only three and one half years older than her," he thought. Then he started. "That's so wrong." He yelled. "She's a student and I'm a teacher." Then he paused, "What in Merlin's name am I yelling for?"  
He looked at the young face in the mirror as he magically dried off his hair. It had actually cleaned up nicely, and he reached for a brush. Then he brushed his teeth and put on his teacher's robes. He was about to leave and turned back around.  
"Well, Sirius won't mind if I get rid of this," he thought as he uncursed the nose which Sirius had cursed in his first year at Hogwarts. The ugly hook shape turned into a nice normal nose, one that was similar to his deceased mother. He frowned slightly, looking at his black hair. "Well, your only young once," he mumbled as he pulled it back into a ponytail, "or twice in my case."  
He began to walk towards the great hall and noticed Minerva coming down the hallway. She paused, pursing her lips.  
"Oh, I wasn't aware we had a new teacher," she paused, "though I daresay that you look very familiar."  
"Minerva," Snape began to smile, "it's me."  
"Oh, have we met?"  
It became hard to hold back the chuckle he felt in his stomach. "Yes, I do believe we have." He watched as she racked her brain. "Its me, Severus Snape."  
She did a double take and he began to explain that a potion of his went wrong. She looked shocked. "But, I thought age changing was nearly impossible, unless its merely temporary."  
"So did I," he said as they began to walk down the hall, "but this is certainly a very different spell."  
She nodded in agreement. "Where were you when you were this handsome young man?" She asked.  
Snape felt his insides twist. He had been a Deatheater, part of the Dark Lord's army. Instinctively, his hand shot up to feel the scar. It had been hurting a lot more lately, Voldemort wanted them all.  
They arrived at the staff table and Snape was forced to recount his age changing story. Dumbledore laughed, "Well, just when I thought I'd seen all I ever would out of you, you go an surprise me again."  
They kids began to arrive in bunches. Snape felt his face go hot as all the kids looked up at him and pointed. Finally, the new kids were sorted, and Dumbledore gave the opening speech. In it, he mentioned Snape's little accident and the kids seemed disappointed.  
"I told you they wouldn't replace Snape," he heard Harry say, "it would be far too good to be true."  
"I wanted a holiday." Said Dean.  
"So what if everyone hates me," Snape thought, "its nothing new."  
He looked and saw that Hermione wasn't her talkative self. She looked rather sad and lost, an expression he was more accustomed to seeing on his own face. Then she hopped up and ran off, receiving quite a few befuddled looks from the onlookers.  
"Someone needs to get her," mumbled Minerva.  
"I will." Snape popped up, much to his own surprise. It surprised the staff too, they all gave him an odd look. "Erm," he began to go red and hot, "I feel the need to enforce the rules all of a sudden."  
"Do go on, Severus," Minerva motioned for him to go.  
He quickly walked out of the hall, mumbling, "Why did I have to go and do that? They're probably all going to get suspicious now."  
Almost instinctively he began to walk towards the girl's lavatory. He rapped on the door, "Miss Granger."  
All that came as a response was choking sobs. Then, a feeble yell, "I don't care if I'm in trouble. I just want to be dead."  
Those words burned into him. Why would Hermione want to die? That was something he did, and she was certainly much better than he. What terrible calamity could have lead to her deep self hate?  
"What's the matter?" He struggled to keep his own voice cold, he couldn't show her the absolute warmth he felt towards her.  
"Mum and Dad are dead."  
At this he felt a burning sensation in his eyes. And his heart.  
"Is anyone else in there?"  
"No, what does it matter anyway?" her voice rose up, "You're just a man, and a professor at that."  
Overcoming the awkward turning in his he opened the door and walked on. She looked up with shocked, yet tearstained eyes as he began to take a seat next to her. Then he handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.  
"It's unused," he reassured as she gave him a funny look. Then he looked into her eyes, "I'm sorry Hermione."  
He wasn't sure what shocked her most, the fact he had referred to her by her first name, or the fact that he was being kind to her. In fact, he wasn't sure which of those shocked him most.  
He continued, "I know how you feel."  
She shot him a dirty look. "You can't." She was yelling, "You can't know this pain I feel. I lived the summer with the Weaslys, I never got to say good bye, I."  
"I know how you feel."  
She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You can't"  
"I lost my mother when I was a first year. It was holiday break and she never came to pick me up. Then I was teased for not getting any gifts at Christmas." He felt perplexed, he had never told this to anyone before. "I didn't ever know my 'father,' he and my mother were not married, and he left the moment she got pregnant. So we were poor. But I wanted to come home so badly that holiday. I had been," he felt tears begin to spring into his eyes, "teased so badly that even the idea coming home to a cold, near empty house seemed better then staying. But I was forced to stay at Hogwarts, non-stop, through my seventh year." He felt a sob, which he had been trying to hold out, finally come out and he began to cry.  
The look in Hermione's eyes softened a lot. "I never knew."  
"I don't tell people this," he said, crying, "because its too hard. I wanted to die, and tried over and over. Then I got manipulated into a being a deatheater. Sometimes I still wish I was dead."  
His body shuddered violently as the pain from his dark mark came alive again. Then he felt her hands slowly embrace him. She began to speak in a low voice, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I always knew that something hurt you badly in your past." She paused, meeting his eyes, "Thank you Severus, I think I feel a little better."  
Once again he felt his face begin to grow hot and red. "If you ever need to talk, Hermione, you have an ear here." What was he doing? He was the cold and insensitive Potions Teacher, not some guidance counselor.  
She smiled, then she blushed crimson as she quickly escaped from the embrace. "Erm, I guess that I ought to get back to the feast. You know, Ron and Harry, they'll be looking for me." She looked at him, "Severus, you look terrible." She hopped up and wet a paper towel. "You look like you've been crying."  
He chuckled, accepting the towel and dabbing his face. "Perhaps that's because I have been crying."  
She began to laugh. He felt good to see that smile in her eyes. Usually he wasn't the person who was able to cheer people up.  
They talked a bit more, about this and that, until the puffy redness left his face. Then he said, "I was supposed to get you in trouble."  
She looked up, "Give me a detention. Then we can talk some more."  
"She wants to talk to me?" He thought. Then he said, "Miss Granger, I do believe that you know the rule against roaming the halls at unspecified times. Detention."  
She put on a look of mock shame, "Oh, Professor, you caught me." She smiled, and they began to return to the hall. Before he left for the staff table, she leaned over and said, "I never realized you were so. good looking." And he blushed again.  
"Thank you."  
He began to make his way to the staff table, mind blazing. He hardly noticed the mounting pain in his arm as he sat down and looked at his empty plate.  
"Is she all right Severus?" Minerva's words took him by surprise.  
"Um, yeah." He looked up, "Her parents died and she was upset. But, she realized that they weren't coming back. I gave her a detention."  
"I can't believe how cold you are." She said, shocked.  
"If only you knew," he thought, "if only you knew." 


End file.
